Ghostly Protectors
by Awlric Hayell
Summary: A new story idea! Naruto is dead....WTF?


_**Ghostly Protectors**_

_**By: **__Awlric Hayell_

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Naruto. I own a bokken and am not afraid to use it on ye ignant fools who think otherwise._

_**A/N: **__And now for something completely different. It came to me in a dream, and I forgot it in another dream. Thus comes the story of a plot._

_**Hajime!**_

Naruto blinked as he stood above his body. "...Huh?" He clearly saw the hole in his chest caused by Sasuke's Dark Chidori. "Am I...dead?"

"**Congratualations, Gaki, you win the prize for the most blatantly obvious statement in the history of humankind."**

Naruto stiffened. If he was dead, then that meant the voice behind him was none other than..."Kyuubi."

"**Bingo. Now, if you could please explain to me why you let the damn traitor kill you, I can kick your ass for doing so."**

Naruto spun around to yell at the fox. "DAMN IT! I CAN'T Be...dead..." and trailed off as he saw...himself. It was him in a tasteful red kimono and sporting fox ears, nine tails, and stylin' red highlights, but him nonetheless. "What happened to you?"

Kyuubi snorted sardonically. **"The seal happened, gaki. Your brother was as much of a genius with seals as his teacher was a pervert."**

Naruto gaped at the Kyuubi in disbelief. "The seal...then the Yondaime was really my brother? How the heck did that happen!?!" SMACK!! "ITA!" Naruto was left bent over holding the goose egg bump on is head.

Kyuubi held the finishing strike pose for a moment.**"Baka. Don't ask me how it's possible. I was locked in a mindless seething rage, remember? The only way I know you two are brothers is through **_**your**_** DNA."** Straightening, he slipped the harisen back into the folds of his obi (the belt thing on a kimono), where it disappeared in a puff of logic (because, logically, it couldn't have been there...right?)

Naruto sat back up in a thinking position, bump throbbing. "Speaking of, why the hell did you attack Konoha!?!"

Kyuubi glared at Naruto, blue eyes sparking with hate. **"Hell had everything to do with it, gaki. Do you know what summoned the Bijuu to your world?"**

Naruto blinked. "...Huh? Why? I thought you all were here from the beginning...weren't you?"

The foxy man growled deep in his throat. **"I was **_**betrayed**_**. All of us were. Cast out like so much refuse by the very blood that contracted us. Where do you think Kekkei Genkai came from? And the Summons!?! Who do you think gave humanity the ability to even **_**use**_** chakra in the first place!?! It all came from we, the most powerful of the Makai Realms, the rulers of the Nine Levels of Hell!"**

Naruto gasped. "No! That can't be true! Yoshiko wouldn't leave Shinmaru for that playboy!!!"

"**Yes, it's all tru-" **Kyuubi's head snapped up. **"What?"** He blinked as he noticed his surroundings. Somehow, between the time he and Naruto found themselves floating over their body and Naruto's recent outburst, they had ended up in front of the only electronics store in Konoha that showed soap operas in the window area. Naruto was currently floating on his stomach with his head on his forearms, watching with interest. Kyuubi's eye twitched. **"...Did you even hear a word I said?**" He asked calmly, slowly pulling an oversized harisen from behind his back

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto replied, still avidly watching _All my Ninja_. "Betrayal, origin of chakra, fear me, blah blah blah. Nooo! Don't tell him that yet, Yuriko! The Fifth wall! The Fifth wall is always watching!" (Fifth wall referring, of course, to the unnatural soap opera and Ranma ½ Law which states: 'There is _always_ someone listening at the worst possible moment.")

Kyuubi narrowed his ghostly eyes and raised the giant harisen of DOOM above his head. **"Oh, Narutooooo..."** He said in a sickly sweet voice, trailing off threateningly.

Naruto flinched. He didn't want to look up. That was the tone Sakura-chan always used before she knocked him into LECO (Lower Elemental Country Orbit). It was a bad omen for his well-being. But the way the voice trailed off...He had to know. Bracing himself for the beatdown of his afterlife, Naruto slowly turned towards the former demon lord. "...yes?" He managed to squeak out as he noticed the way Kyuubi trembled with unsuppressed rage.

"**BAAAKAAAAAAA!!!!!!"** Kyuubi roared as be brought down the Humongously Mist Ninja Proportioned (in other words, pretty damn big) Harisen (plus 5 against idiocy) upon Naruto's slightly transparent head, knocking him clear through the ground (and by through, I mean phasing through. They are ghosts, remember?)

A few seconds later, Naruto popped his head back through the ground. "Did you know that the center of the Earth is a core of fiery molten rock? 'Cause I sure as hell didn't!"

Kyuubi whacked him with a mini harisen. **"Enough small talk. Get with the explaining so I may commence** **with the beating." **

"Oh!" Naruto said, pounding his fist into his palm. "I forgot about that!"

Kyuubi raised an eyebrow in response.

Pulling himself out of the ground, Naruto stared at the sky for a moment, slightly dejected. "We made a promise."

Kyuubi blinked. **"...What?"**

Naruto smiled sadly at the former lord of demons. "We promised to, one day, fight each other with everything we had, away from all the pain and all of our precious people. Just me and him, proving our strength once and for all. He came at me with the intent to kill, and I..." Naruto sighed. "I couldn't do it. Not like that. Not with the Curse seal. So I pulled my punches and here we are."

A vein popped out on Kyuubi's forehead. **"...So what you're saying is that you let yourself be killed because you didn't want to fight Sasuke when he was under the influence?"**

Naruto did one of his trademark foxy grins. "Yep, that about sums it up." He blinked at the killing intent washing off of Kyuubi. "Umm...did I do something wrong?"

"**NARUUTOO NO BAAAKAAA!!!!!"** KABOOM!!!!! And Naruto was flattened with a harisen bigger then Gama-bunta's sword. **"Now how are you going to protect your precious people!?!" **

Naruto paled. "Oh shit! I didn't think of that!"

"**You never think! Lucky for you, your Kekkei Genkai should take care of it for you."**

Naruto blinked. "Eh? Kekkei Genkai? You mean like the Sharingan or the Byakugan?"

Kyuubi stared at Naruto for a moment then laughed uproariously. "**Oh, this is just perfect! You mean to tell me you didn't know!?"**

"What!? What!? What don't I know!?"

"**Not telling.**" Kyuubi said teasingly. "**You'll find out when you find out.**"

_**To be continued...?**_

_**Ideas for continuation: **__Naruto in a Bleach crossover, getting his shinigami on. Of course, there's the Yuu Yuu Hakusho with Botan showing up thing. Mayhaps one fancies a bit of Dragonball. Of course, we could continue with a standard, non-crossing, Naruto-haunting-Konoha type story._

_**E/N: **__Eh, I'll get to the rest of this story later. Please, do review. (Also, if you use this idea to start a story, I give my full permission to use this chapter in its entirety, so long as I get props)._

_**Translations!**_

_Gaki: Brat_

_Ita: Shortened from Itai, an expression of pain (like ouch)_

_Bijuu: Tailed beast_

_Baka: idiot_

_Naruto no baka!: Naruto, you idiot!_


End file.
